Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
Guns don’t kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.
Jack Bauer cannot stick his elbow in his ear, but he can stick your elbow in your ear.
If you send someone to kill Jack Bauer, the only thing you accomplish is supplying him a fresh set of weapons to kill you with.
Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he’s knocked out or temporarily killed.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.